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Artist's Comments
Page One of my new comic series Rings of Time.
Previous Page - [link] Next Page - [link] First Page - N/A Since this is the first page I REALLY BADLY want some crit on what's good, what needs work and such with this comic. Please tell me what you like, what you don't, how to improve it and such please. This comic will be black and white, in pencil, with some shading to the pictures. I'm no expert, so it won't be perfect, but I will do my best. Edit: 01/10/07 - *Kameira has made a coloured version of this page. Scrap of the original page can be found here: [link] Rings of Time story © *Okura Okura, Tiare, Dionus and related characters © *Okura Coloured page made by *Kameira Comments I like the layout and the way the text is easy to read (and grammatical, and spelt right... you wouldn't believe how actually uncommon that is). One thing you might want to do is making the full view smaller, no wider than the width of the screen so that you don't have to scroll across to look at it, which is very annoying.
It's a shame it won't be in colour. By the way, in the second panel where it's split into under water/above water, you might want to darken the under water part a little (maybe a few quick hatched lines or something) to make the distinction more obvious. As it is, at first it looked like the orca was wearing a weird headband or something before I realised what it was. That's about it, so good job and I look forward to seeing more of this.  -- Disclaimer: No, I'm not serious. Sorry about my bad English, I'm a moron. :]  Maybe a little smaller version the next time? for our reading pleasure ^^
-- For we Only Keep what we Love.. and we only Love what we Understand.. ><((((º>`·.¸¸.·´¯`·.¸.·´¯`·...¸><((((º>¸.  I'm not much of a comic writer etc, but this looks great so far! I agree with all the crit given by ancient-seeker
 *deep voice*
TI-IME. -- MUNDANE LIKE A THUNDERSTORM Well, I can't do much about the water until the next picture, but I have adjusted the size. I hope that works.
-- "Has anyone ever died here?" "Only once..." "So just one person?" "No... I mean everyone has only died once in the park. No-one can die twice..." Corrected.
-- "Has anyone ever died here?" "Only once..." "So just one person?" "No... I mean everyone has only died once in the park. No-one can die twice..."  *gasps* oh no whats going to happen next D=
-- Medic: "Dont worry I know how to use this for CPR!" Person: "How?" Medic: "I dont know!" [link]  Oooohhh...I wonder what could happen soon...neat sketch comic though.
-- When I want my feet licked, I'll ask for it. I want my feet licked! Page two is already up.
[link] -- "Has anyone ever died here?" "Only once..." "So just one person?" "No... I mean everyone has only died once in the park. No-one can die twice..." |
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