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Submitted on
April 14, 2007
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Rings of Time - Page 1 by Okura Rings of Time - Page 1 by Okura
Page One of my new comic series Rings of Time.

Previous Page - [link]
Next Page - [link]
First Page - N/A


Since this is the first page I REALLY BADLY want some crit on what's good, what needs work and such with this comic. Please tell me what you like, what you don't, how to improve it and such please.

This comic will be black and white, in pencil, with some shading to the pictures. I'm no expert, so it won't be perfect, but I will do my best.

Edit: 01/10/07 - *Kameira has made a coloured version of this page. Scrap of the original page can be found here: [link]

Rings of Time story © *Okura
Okura, Tiare, Dionus and related characters © *Okura
Coloured page made by *Kameira
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:iconsampea:
sampea Featured By Owner Sep 17, 2014
I see we went to Okura's adulthood, nice.
Reply
:icondevinital:
Devinital Featured By Owner Aug 11, 2011  Hobbyist Artist
I remember reading this back in 2008. Funny how much has changed sense then.
Reply
:iconkrown54:
Krown54 Featured By Owner Oct 5, 2009
Oh, this looks to have potintial.
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:iconkenai-okami75:
Kenai-Okami75 Featured By Owner Apr 24, 2009  Hobbyist General Artist
Wonderful comic! I enjoyed it greatly and stayed up way too late reading the whole thing, hehe :D
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:iconskyebobpiepants:
SkyebobPiepants Featured By Owner Oct 1, 2007
Well, it looks wonderfull in colour :D I wouln;t mind purchasing a comic book such as this ;)
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:iconjenl:
JenL Featured By Owner Oct 1, 2007  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Oh wow, thats beautiful in color! ^_^

-Jen
Reply
:icontillikum:
Tillikum Featured By Owner Sep 30, 2007
The coloring looks so kickass! 8D *Kameira = color goddess!
Reply
:iconmike-dragon:
Mike-Dragon Featured By Owner Sep 30, 2007  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Awesome! :D Kameira did a great work with the colors. :clap:
Reply
:iconorcaobession:
OrcaObession Featured By Owner Aug 13, 2007
Ooooh! Suspense! You devil, you! Works well.
Reply
:icontucuxi:
Tucuxi Featured By Owner Apr 20, 2007
I can't wait to read this series. The above/below water effect looks a little awkward. If, on the part of the scene that is below the water, you could shade it a little darker than the above area, it would be much more effective. I totally see what you are trying to do, and it's pretty hard, but the darker shading would help with the visual. Overall I love your style and I'm exited to see more.
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:icondolphinboy:
Dolphinboy Featured By Owner Apr 17, 2007
Nice to see you have started doing comics again. I think your right to keep it in black and white and just use shading.
Reply
:iconyoungbow:
youngbow Featured By Owner Apr 14, 2007  Hobbyist General Artist
Oooohhh...I wonder what could happen soon...neat sketch comic though.
Reply
:iconokura:
Okura Featured By Owner Apr 14, 2007  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Page two is already up.

[link]
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:iconyoungbow:
youngbow Featured By Owner Apr 15, 2007  Hobbyist General Artist
I saw it already.
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:iconwinter-silverwolf:
winter-silverwolf Featured By Owner Apr 14, 2007  Student General Artist
*gasps* oh no whats going to happen next D=
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:iconkameira:
Kameira Featured By Owner Apr 14, 2007
*deep voice*

TI-IME.
Reply
:iconorcafriend:
orcafriend Featured By Owner Apr 14, 2007
I'm not much of a comic writer etc, but this looks great so far! I agree with all the crit given by ancient-seeker :)
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:iconrobindv:
RobindV Featured By Owner Apr 14, 2007  Professional Photographer
Maybe a little smaller version the next time? for our reading pleasure ^^
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:iconokura:
Okura Featured By Owner Apr 14, 2007  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Corrected.
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:iconancient-seeker:
ancient-seeker Featured By Owner Apr 14, 2007
I like the layout and the way the text is easy to read (and grammatical, and spelt right... you wouldn't believe how actually uncommon that is). One thing you might want to do is making the full view smaller, no wider than the width of the screen so that you don't have to scroll across to look at it, which is very annoying.

It's a shame it won't be in colour. By the way, in the second panel where it's split into under water/above water, you might want to darken the under water part a little (maybe a few quick hatched lines or something) to make the distinction more obvious. As it is, at first it looked like the orca was wearing a weird headband or something before I realised what it was.

That's about it, so good job and I look forward to seeing more of this. =)
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:iconokura:
Okura Featured By Owner Apr 14, 2007  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Well, I can't do much about the water until the next picture, but I have adjusted the size. I hope that works.
Reply
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